1 Samuel 27
Our thoughts lead to our actions. This is why we are told to “take every thought captive” in 2 Corinthians 10:5. David thought, in essence, “Saul will eventually kill me, so what’s the point?” He forgot how God had miraculously delivered Saul into his hands twice. He forgot all the miracles God had done for Israel in bringing the into the Promised Land. He forgot how God had saved him from the lion and the bear and had given him victory over Goliath! All he could see was that Saul was pursuing him relentlessly and he was tired of running and hiding. He was tired of trusting God to keep him safe from a mad man.
I get tired, too. I get tired of trusting that God has a purpose for me in my current, frustrating, demanding job. I get tired of trusting that God will provide for our financial needs when I would rather see a fat account with plenty to spare, rather than having Him provide just at the moment it’s needed. I get tired of trusting that circumstances that seem difficult, or sometimes hopeless, are all part of a plan that is too big and glorious and God-glorifying for my finite, pea-brain to understand. I get tired of seeing people behave horribly and trusting that God’s judgment is true and sure and that, in the end, justice will prevail.
In his tiredness, though, David turned away from God’s plan for his life. He turned to the Philistines for shelter and became a mercenary, killing and destroying entire towns for profit. He set the groundwork in his heart for his later, more familiar sin of killing Uriah to cover his sin with Bathsheba, when he killed all men, women, and children in these towns to hide his sin from Achish.
When we’re tired, we need to lean in all the more toward the gospel. We need to surround ourselves with brothers and sisters who will bear our burdens with us and remind us that, though it might look bleak, God is in control and is faithful. Though His timeline might not match ours, and His methods might stress us out, He knows what He’s doing.